I was feeling a bit dizzy today as I couldn’t complete my sleep last night in the train. The chaos and the calling of “chai/tea” was keeping me awake. Yes, I promise you, I won’t take another one but please make me one strong tea. I did take the pages of my favourite author along but I couldn’t concentrate on that too. The reading light just above my head was showing a yellow color which made me recall my childhood days, the fun, the tungsten filament scientific theories and keeping the bulb on as an indication for electricity.
I stepped into the building and I saw her for the first time. I am looking at you, she said. I pinched myself, that was the first time we exchanged smiles at the staircase. I don’t know who was having butterflies but I was actually followed by a bee. It started with looking up for each other amidst so many people and believe me everyone was keeping so busy to give a glance even. She managed to give some minutes every now and then. She: Shooks hand. You are coming all the way from there and it’s beautiful to see you people and all of us gearing up together for an event. Me: Yes, its beautiful to meet many people round the globe and exchange thoughts which contributes to the development of society and make it more better. We learn and unlearn. She: *Smiles* and looks back. Not intentionally but somehow she wanted to. I’ll see you around, the cartilage of her’s wanted to talk. Me: Smiles and goes for a tea. Yes, again.
We and the team and the extended circles were dining and all I was looking was to get a glance and to intiate a conversation. I didn’t find her! Maybe, she isn’t interested or she is busy. I was looking for you downstairs and I didn’t know you were wandering upstairs, she said. Ahh! The feeling comes mutual now and I am relieved. I’ll go and see my friends nearby. Want to join, I asked firmly. She: Mmm, not this time. I have some work here. Maybe later on drinks we can meet? Me: Alright you take care and walk with the midnight! She: *winks* Me: Tomorrow is the big day for all of us. She: ” …. ” intense. Me: I’ll hold my favourite literature book.
Its beautiful you meet many people on the way and you never know who’s getting more closer and closer to you. Maybe to strike a chord with. Or maybe you are getting closer to yourself and in fact you’ll meet the best person in this world. Yes, you meet Yourself! Also, it’s quite possible, that, you meet a beautiful bee outside and just get attracted towards the charm of her sound and the way she wanders towards any light post, like in this one! This yellow light bulb amidst people and my journey reminded me of many a things and that was beautiful. 😀
Are you sure or certain about where are we going? You sure, Nikhil? Someone whispered. Don’t guess who but feel. We live our lives looking at life through the window. Isn’t it? A reflection of everything we want to be, everything we want to achieve and all we see is a haphazard or a straight road ahead. We are never certain about the second to come, let the three decades to pass. But, looking through the window, through those uncertainties, we learn to live our lives in undying hope. I think so? Maybe you too. Embedded in those uncertainties is the fear of things going wrong, of not earning worth the hours you toiled everyday, fear of meeting failures. You fight through the bad days to earn the best days of life. I did. I can tell you that.
A bit, nostalgic of the past you lost, certainties about the future to come, paused momentarily in the present. Embrace those uncertainties, I say. Title your chapters your way and give the name of your book by yourself. You’ll see a better and more lovable you. I had my favourite chocolate and tasted the sweetness of your and my thoughts with a positive connect. But, who brought the chocolate? 😉
Yes, you are the ‘yes person’ these days, and is as easy as sliding into your own skin. Isn’t it? You wouldn’t even realize it, until one day you sit down with your cup of tea, a clear peaceful mind and think of all the decisions you ever took just to please someone else or maybe in some other factor to please the air around you. You would realize how just to be validated at a mere point, you ended up consuming more energy yourself.
All of us want to be validated at one point, by the people around us. That’s human nature, you can’t change. But all of us who we really are and what all we do/did. We would never really be able to see the complete story but somehow we know it.
In the process, of juggling with yourself and who you are, of changing your own needs and desires to accommodate someone else’s – you become so many things at once, maybe the jack of all trades and master too. You lose sense of who you really were, of what you once really wanted, of where you have always desired to go. The wavelength ends up staying limited to the people around you and their opinions.
Don’t ever do that to yourself! Not now or ever. I believe, you can never be liked by everyone and I also believe that, you can never be disliked by everyone as well. Learn to validate yourself step by step and be a friend to your heart and mind, before you begin to ask for one.
I don’t have a wish to be liked by everyone,
You know me well, that’s enough,
The good knows me so good and the bad knows me bad,
People know me just as per their need and head.
Life is beautiful yet interesting, evenings aren’t spent well and the years pass by,
Sometimes life seems like a race,
You win to win over your dear and loved ones,
You lose to lose over your dear and loved ones.
I sit on the mud sometimes,
I sometimes don’t like the reach people show,
But, I’ve learnt it from the rivers,
To keep flowing and love your show.
I am happy and I try to make others happy,
I am careless sometimes for myself but I do care for you,
I know I don’t have my air to flow with you,
Still, it’s good to be friends with you.
Bought a watch to see the time and its beauty,
Time was like a glue stick to me, to run and never fall of her duty,
Thought of building a house and living in peace,
The wants of my house made me a global bee.
There was a time when you used to wake up smiling in the morning, Today the evenings are left with a non smiling face, We’ve came so far with the help to maintain our relations, And, we forgot to hide our pains with the same emotions.
In between the pages of book, lying down at one corner of the bed, I heard some thunderstorms. Yes, it was already quarter to one. I could hear the rain drops. Sometimes, these rain drops try to speak a lot, maybe either I should go to sleep or hear them out. They might want to share something, my subconscious mind said. I was all ears for the latter. I was on page 38, you could get some idea of her birthday date by adding or subtracting few numbers to the page. There was a WhatsApp message; I read it a bit late when I crossed the 53rd page.
Are you awake? That read.
Yes, I am.
. . . . .
I started with the 54th page and sometime later there was another mesaage, Want to speak?
I am in the middle of a very interesting plot, the climax.
It’ll take time and I can sleep with the book on my chest. Kindly, have a good sleep.
I want to discuss a book or maybe something else.
And, may I ask what would that be?
. . . . .
Started again with the book, it’s two in the morning now. I was getting sleep but I thought I’ll drop a message that we’ll discuss it tomorrow. I texted her back.
1 minute. I am calling. Let me hear you.
We were on call but there were no talks. It feels like we are listening to our breaths?
A sweet giggle.
Okay, you should sleep now. Wait, I said…
. . . . . . Do you still want more breaths to be heard along with the rain droplets and the sweet winds?
Maybe yes. Or maybe no. I don’t feel the wind.
I’ll try to make it more lighter than my breath to make you feel more and understand the aura of wind and the sweetness it carries.
That would be more than beautiful. But, wait, my ♥️ getting more beats. Are you trying to transfer some of the excitement too? I asked.
A whispering smile with a sign of a YES.
Let’s sleep now. It’s near to 3 AM. ‘Night
Its been a rainy day throughout the day and there were guests pouring up too. Got some dishes and sweets ready and was having a conversation with them. A text, can you come over?
Now? I asked.
I am with the guests and I got work to do.
I got your favourite book, I’ll read it for you.
Okay. I’ll see you in 35 minutes.
I smiled and took a leave from the guest place and the conversation and promised to join after a few hours. Yes, they’d a plan to stay over.
**Dinggggg** the door bell rang. She greeted with a warm welcome with some tea and pakoras (inflated potato chips here)
You want to leave early? She asked.
Looked into my eyes and asked with the help of her blinking eyelashes, do you?
Smiled and got the book. Do you want to come over to my room? Or sofa is comfortable?
Sofa is fine.
But, I want to read it staying very close to you.
Would you be able to read the whole book, I mean 340 pages.
Count on my breaths, darling.
I felt the warmth, I missed. Can we try finishing the book with the same warmth?
My room maybe?
You want to say something, she prompted.
Nothing. The warmth, the pure soul, non altruistic approach, the proper touch was missing for quite sometime and different thoughts ran through the nerves of my mind. True people exists with a proper meaning and pure soul, the mind gave a hint. But, doing good to others is what I believe.
She replied, remember, when people act shady, betray your trust, have double faces just allow them to do so. Their choices are a direct reflection of who they are, not who you are. Don’t ever sink to their level.
Soon after, held my hands. Looked into my eyes…
The pages continued…
PS: The inverter was on and it made a beep sound. It was charged? Isn’t it? 😉
Hello everyone, I have got my 2nd nomination for The Liebster Award. I want to thank Prakriti for nominating me for this award. I am really grateful to you, Prakriti. Her blogs are of unique thoughts and are really awesome. Check her blog here:
I just got a bit late today for my evening walk after work but as usual the weather was calling out different names in the form of loud sounds; Thunderstorms! Not again, I have to go for the evening walk. Dressed up with sport attire with a feeling of getting drenched today, I made a decision to go. You want to get drenched asked my heart? The mind responded with a big YES!
With an aim to finish three miles, I just stopped by half a mile and asked myself whether I should complete rest of the laps? I was constantly watching the fight between my heart and mind, they were trying to convince whom? Me or my soul or my belief or my trust? Well they were trying to have ice-creams of all the flavours with a bronze spoon. I tried with my belief and trust and tried for more miles. I was half a way through. It was a sense of great accomplishment and great delight to my mind, heart and corresponding their beliefs and trust.
Was it all by mind? Or was it all by heart? It’s everything on our mind, the story said and the confusing conclusion remarked upon. You think and you become that. You want to be a billionaire in the next second, you are one, who is stopping you! It’s all by the thoughts played in your mind. The mind is your beautiful movie theater which lets you see many movies in a single screen or may be different ones, depends. You want to be an Oscar awarded individual; you are one, awarded by your mind!
My walk was coming to an end and I did engage in a conversation with many of the evening walkers regarding thoughts and the mind. The mind and thoughts to them is mere a flow of air which they allowed to enter in their mind(s), if they want to, else they were open to travel with another air which had less troubles. Talks and talks were handed over to me, my friend, significant other and some strangers, the same day we started discussing over mind, heart and corresponding beliefs and trust.
Did I tell you that, you are a part of my beautiful story where you are the actor/actress performing a great movie with a powerful message? Did I also tell you, that, this, was only a cup of tea that made me think of a beautiful story like this between you and me playing together, with our thoughts, mind, and our heart, yes, we are in the same see-saw looking at each other with the same smile thinking of crafting a new story for you and for me and for everyone to bring out peaceful minds and happiness.
So is it the only the ‘tea talking’ ? Or ‘talks over’ a cup of tea? 😉